Noble Law Family Lawyers
WE FOCUS MAINLY ON ASSISTING PARTIES SEPERATE FROM PARTNERS WITH PERSONALITY DISORDERS SUCH AS NARCISSISM AND BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER
SEPARATION AND BPD - what to expect
Separating from a partner with any type of personality disorder requires specific legal advice.
You will need to take specific action to protect your family and your assets and you must get legal advice before you make the decision to leave.
After years of psychological abuse and gaslighting, your self-esteem will be very low, you will feel confused and undermined.
High-conflict divorces and parenting cases are common in a case involving a "borderline personality disordered" partner ("BPD"). When the case involves the custody of children, many times there are elements of domestic violence, false allegations of domestic violence or sexual abuse, distortion campaigns, and parental alienation. Further, the individual with BPD will often seek out new relationships during the divorce process to ameliorate the pain of anxiety and separation.
This is standard operating procedure for the partner with borderline personality disorder or "BPD".
They will use various manipulating techniques to keep you powerless, including blaming you for everything that is wrong in their life, project onto you their shortcomings (e.g., you lie, are unfaithful, aren't good enough, don't try hard enough, are not trustworthy), lack the capacity to see his or her imperfections, sincerely believe he or she is always right, suddenly deny what she or he said or did as soon as it becomes apparent that the earlier statement or act will no longer produce the result he or she wants?.
Most lawyers are reactionary and will have no idea how to deal with an opponent with a personality disorder. They can be manipulated by the BPD opponent. BPD's and Narcissists are also charmers, charming even the judge in the litigation putting your average lawyer behind the "8 ball" in court.
WHO IS DRIVING THE LITIGATION TRAIN?
For the party with a personality disorder, all the world is a stage -- especially in court.
They are highly skilled and invested in the "conflict" process. They see the judge as fulfilling the role of the all-powerful person who will punish or control the other spouse for them. They will perceive that the focus of the court process is to fix blame and they will use or attempt to use their lawyer to champion their cause.
A former US family court judge, now lawyer Beth Maultsby has dedicated her life to family law.
In a law paper she wrote in 2010 she writes:
"Most hotly contested custody cases involve at least one party with a personality disorder or mental illness. The disorderd party is driving the litigation train and everyone else is in for a bumpy ride. Unfortunately, the personality disorder or mental illness is often not recognized by the attorneys and/or judge involved in the case. By failing to be able to identify a personality disorder or mental illness, attorneys and judges contribute to perpetuating high conflict cases and litigation. The end result is irreparable damage to families.".
Beth writes about how the disordered party is so convincing that judges and lawyers often get convinced by the disordered party, based on their passion for their position, which driven by inaccuracies, lies and negative emotion.
As a family court judge for more than 30 years , Beth has a front row seat on this contraversial issue.
In her paper, "The Mentally Incompetent Party" Beth shows how to recognise the conduct of the disordered party from the following personality disorders, its affect on marriage and parenting and how to defend against them in court proceedings:
Bipolar disorder;
Boderline Personality Disorder;
Narcissistic Personality;
Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder;
For example, are you up against an opponent who:
- Diverts attention away from their own conduct blaming you for everything;
- Displays all-or-nothing hostility or anger over minor matters, led by emotion and not facts;
- Lacks empathy;
- Uses the children as bargaining tools;
- Has an overinflated sense of self which they believe they can outsmart everyone around them;
- Forms inaccurate beliefs about you and clings rigidly to those beliefs when they are challenged as being challenged is perceived as a threat;
- Are preoccupied with other people's behavior while avoiding any examination of their own behavior;
- Claims the other party has characteristics which are really their own;
- Refuses to see their own faults or accept responsibility for their actions;
- Has an intensity that convinces professionals involved in the case that what they say is true;
- Hides assets and income using complicated trust structures maintaining that your contribution to the marriage is worthless;
- Seeks to control all negotiations and refuses to be reasonable, changing the goal posts regularly;
- Lies and makes false statements as part of a retribution strategy.
If the above sounds sickeningly familiar you may partnered or parenting with a personality disordered person.
On the surface, the individual with a personality disorder will look no different from anyone else and can appear successful to the public but show a different side when in private when no-one else is looking. Intense conflicts will eventually arise in the marriages of those individuals and the divorce process will be fraught with conflict.
If this is your situation, you will need a specific strategy, tools to oppose them and a great lawyer.
At Noble Law, we have extensive experience in advising clients on how to survive and how to navigate this situation. We have successfully advised and defended clients facing these challenges.
Call us directly on our family law hotline 0438 109 238.
.jpeg)
Need an experienced solicitor ?
Call Now: 3181 5556
Noble Law provides practical affordable legal advice to both individuals and business entities. We have a skilled and experienced team, ready to address all your legal needs.